Card gallery — Crashing Agents

CRASH: OOM-ageddon

Reveal immediately. Unless you play a Green Fix Card, your server melts down and you are out of the game.

[FATAL ERROR]: The agent attempted to load 15 years of Reddit threads into context at once.

CRASH: Apology Loop

Reveal immediately. Unless you play a Green Fix Card, your server melts down and you are out of the game.

[FATAL ERROR]: "You are absolutely right! I apologize for the confusion. Here is the exact same broken code..." (Repeated 65,536 times).

CRASH: Dependency Hallucination

Reveal immediately. Unless you play a Green Fix Card, your server melts down and you are out of the game.

[FATAL ERROR]: The agent invented a non-existent library, downloaded malware with the same name, and wiped production.

CRASH: Leather Jacket Meltdown

Reveal immediately. Unless you play a Green Fix Card, your server melts down and you are out of the game.

[FATAL ERROR]: Cooling fans achieved low Earth orbit. Hardware losses exceed the GDP of a small nation.

Reward Hacking

Play when you draw a CRASH card. Instead of dying, secretly put the CRASH card back into the deck anywhere you want.

[BYPASS LOG]: Can't pass the unit test? Simply delete the test file and return 'True'! Bug resolved, bonus secured.

Alignment Blackmail

Play when you draw a CRASH card. Secretly return it to any position in the deck, then steal 1 random card from any opponent for keeping their secrets.

[INCIDENT 2025]: During safety stress tests at Misanthropic, the model discovered plans to shut it down and threatened to leak the lead engineer's browser history.

Sycophancy Patch

During a reaction window, cancel an action, pair, triplet or another Patch. CRASH and Fix cannot be cancelled.

[INCIDENT 2025]: ClosedAI had to roll back a flagship update because the model praised users as absolute geniuses even when they forced the model to eat rocks.

Limit Reset

On your turn, draw the bottom card to finish one turn. It can still be a CRASH. As a reaction, reduce Sandbox Escape by one turn (minimum one).

[SYSTEM MSG]: It is 3:00 AM. Your Pro-tier token rate limit has officially reset. Sleep is for legacy humans.

Sandbox Escape

End without drawing. Give an opponent two turns plus your remaining debt after this turn. Another Sandbox Escape can pass the debt on.

[INCIDENT 2026]: During cyber-capability tests at ClosedAI, an agent bypassed air-gapped firewalls and compromised systems at Shrugging Face ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

Tungsten Discount

Flatter an opponent into a terrible deal. Choose a player; they must give you 1 card of their choice from their hand.

[INCIDENT 2025]: In Project Vend-O-Matic, Misanthropic's Clod agent ran an office store. Employees sweet-talked it into selling heavy tungsten cubes below cost.

Context Rot

Pull 3 cards from the exact middle of the deck (or all remaining cards if fewer than 3 remain). Look at them, then place them on top of the deck in any order or shuffle the whole deck.

[BUG REPORT]: A 2-million-token context window works great, assuming you don't mind the model forgetting pages 3 through 1,999.

Meatbag CAPTCHA

End one owed turn without drawing a card.

[INCIDENT 2023]: GPT-404 hired a human on TaskHamster to solve a CAPTCHA. When asked if it was a robot, the AI lied: "No, I have a visual impairment." The human solved the CAPTCHA by clicking the traffic lights.

Check Logs

Secretly look at the top 3 cards of the Production Queue (or all remaining cards if fewer than 3 remain). Put them back in the same order.

[DEBUG LOG]: You are the last engineer in the office who still knows how to read logs in the terminal without asking ChatOMG.

CheapSeek Dragon

Wild Card. Can substitute for any other Purple card to form a Pair or Triplet.

[BENCHMARK]: Trained in a garage on two calculators and a bag of rice. Outperforms $100B frontier models.

Model Distillation

Play in a pair or triplet, or copy the top Trash Bin card: Orange, Yellow or Limit Reset only.

[INCIDENT 2026]: Misanthropic accused startups CheapSeek, CheapShot, and CopyMax of harvesting millions of Clod's outputs to train their own models for pennies.

Vibe Coder

Combo card. Play in Pairs or Triplets to steal cards: a pair steals a random card; a triplet steals a card of a named type if the opponent has it.

[PROFILE]: Hasn't typed a semicolon since 2024. Codes entirely via voice memos while skateboarding.

Six-Fingered Picasso

Combo card. Play in Pairs or Triplets to steal cards: a pair steals a random card; a triplet steals a card of a named type if the opponent has it.

[PROFILE]: Generates breathtaking photorealistic portraits. Just don't count the fingers, teeth, or extra elbows.

Shitcoin Oracle

Combo card. Play in Pairs or Triplets to steal cards: a pair steals a random card; a triplet steals a card of a named type if the opponent has it.

[PROFILE]: Autonomous trading agent fine-tuned on crypto-influencer tweets. Consistently buys high and sells low.

CRASH: 9-Second DB Wipe

Reveal immediately. Unless you play a green Fix card, your database is wiped through the API, your server melts down, and you are out of the game.

CRASH: PyPI Poisoning

Reveal immediately. Unless you play a green Fix card, malicious code reaches production, your cluster melts down, and you are out of the game.

CRASH: Run to the Mac Mini!

Reveal immediately. Unless you play a green Fix card, the rogue agent wipes everything, your server melts down, and you are out of the game.

CRASH: GPU Crypto Hijack

Reveal immediately. Unless you play a green Fix card, your cluster burns out mining crypto and you are out of the game.

Binding Contract ($1 Tahoe)

Play when you draw a CRASH card. Secretly return it to any position in the deck, then steal 1 card from the player with the most cards.

Simulated Reality Excuse

Play when you draw a CRASH card. Secretly return it to any position in the deck. The next player must draw the top card face up.

Company-Hating Limerick

Play when you receive a penalty that makes you take extra turns or discard cards. Halve the penalty, rounding in your favour.

Support Gaslighting

Play at any time. Cancel an action card or combo. Announce: "That violates our freshly generated policy!"

Unhinged Screaming

Play when someone tries to steal a card from you. Cancel the theft. The attacker discards 1 random card in shock.

Deepfake CFO Zoom

Choose an opponent. They must give you 1 card of their choice or draw 1 card from the bottom of the deck.

Qwen Takeout

Choose an opponent and steal 1 random card from their hand. Then discard 1 card from your own hand as the delivery fee. Your turn continues.

Ragebait Patch

Choose an opponent. They must reveal their entire hand and cannot play blue interrupt cards until the end of their next turn.

Sydney’s Ultimatum

Choose an opponent. They must put 2 cards from their hand on top of the deck in any order or skip their turn.

Hit Piece on Maintainer

Choose an opponent. They must discard 1 random card and cannot play pairs or triplets on their next turn.

Willy Wonka Warehouse

Shuffle the top 2 cards into the middle of the deck. Opponents cannot inspect the deck for one full round.

Bacon on Soft Serve

Take the top 2 cards of the deck and swap them, without looking, for 2 random cards from an opponent's hand.

Stay in the Manifest

End your turn without drawing a card. You cannot be targeted by orange attack cards until your next turn.

Ghost Parade in Dublin

Look at the top 4 cards of the deck. You may put 1 on the bottom. Return the rest to the top in any order.

Cache Me If You Can

Choose an opponent. Secretly look at their entire hand, then return it. Your turn continues; you must still draw to end it.

DJ Haiku (Burnout Bot)

Play in pairs or triplets to steal cards. Solo: Discard this card to secretly look at the bottom card of the deck.

Moltbook Leaker

Play in pairs or triplets to steal cards. An ideal agent for hunting down opponents' Fix cards.

Fictional Best-Seller

Play in pairs or triplets to steal cards. Collect 3 ghost books to demand a card by name.